......

I am a complete significance of all insignificance. The perfection of imperfection. I'm being random actually. I'm hurt. And, all I could do is type down everything that is at the tip of my mind right now. I haven't been myself in a while. I haven't fully recovered after my Father's departure. He's never coming back :'(
My life has been nothing but miserable. Eversince my dad's gone, there's been a lot going on. I feel so pressured. I'm my mom's only hope. What more should I say about my brothers? They're hopeless, unreliable, selfish, irresponsible and spoiled. And because of that, my mom keeps encouraging me to be the very best for the family. I just don't want her to put her hopes on me too much. Don't get me wrong. I am willing to do all that. But I need more time. And that's not the only problem. My Father's siblings are fighting over the inheritance. My mom bought two lands in Tanah Jambu and Sengkurong for our future use. But it's unfair to my mom. She purchased those lands with her own money. She only included my dad's name as a sign of how much she loves him. And what's really unfair, they get 1/6 of the land's share and my mom only gets 1/8. It's unfair. It's my mom's property. Shouldn't they be ashamed of fighting over something that doesn't even belong to them. And they're even starting to nag my mom to sell our car to them. Ughh. I'm trying as hard as I can to be strong and hold on. Each day, I have to face all these predicaments. What better life should I be in?
Honestly, I admit. I fake a smile everyday. I'm a very sensitive person. But people don't know that cause I've always been mean and sarcastic. I have main reasons for being insensitive. So that people won't see me as someone who can get hurt easily. Not only that, I'm doing it to protect my feelings. I know, we all have limits. I'm an odd person. *sighss.
My life isn't all that perfect. I would consider my life perfect when I've fulfilled all my purposes in life. Oh, God. I guess this is the karma I get for being such an ass back then. This is the perfect punishment for me. I'm so close to giving up.
Sayang, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I love you. And in this sort of situation, you'll always be the person I need to talk to, to dry my tears away, to convince me that everything's gonna be alright. I love you, I truly do. :'/